How Does Bullying Affect People?

Bullying affects people of all ages in a number of different ways. Many people are first bullied by others before they come to adopt the behavior themselves. Whether a person is bullied and a bully or just one or the other the effects it has on them can be long lasting.

Types Of Bullies
To understand how does bullying affect people it is important to be familiar with the different types of bullies. These include narcissistic/sadistic, imitative, impulsive, physical, verbal, impulsive, subordinate, pair, gang, pressure, regulation, residual, client, institutional and corporate bullying.

The Triggers Of Bullies
There are several factors that can trigger the actions of any bully. These are envy, jealousy, a feeling of invisibility in their home life, emotionally distant parents and both physical and verbal abuse.

Psychological Effects Of Being Bullied
According to a 2013 article in Forbes Magazine the psychological effects of being bullied can and do stay with people for a long time.The effects are particularly bad for those who have been bullied, more so than for the ones that acted like bullies. The Journal of the American Medical Association ran the results of a study that followed kids who were bullied or were bullies, from their childhood straight through to adulthood. The study was conducted in Northern California on students at the ages of 9, 11 and 13, most of whom were contacted again as adults. Of the people that participated in this study 5% were only bullies themselves and 21% were only the victims of other bullies. A reported 4.5% of the study participants reported that they had been both the bullied and the bully.

Between the ages of 19 and 26 the participants in this study were contacted on a follow up basis. The results were that people who had been bullied as a child are more likely to suffer from anxiety, panic and depressive disorders as well as agoraphobia. Of the participants who experienced bullying from both sides 25% of them reported that they had had suicidal thoughts in their early adult years as a result. These participants have a high risk of developing an antisocial personality disorder. In comparison, roughly 38% of the participants who were both bullied and bullies now have have a panic disorder to deal with.

The Effect Of Experiencing Bullying During Childhood
In schools across the country one of every five children has been the victim of bullying. There is a cycle that kids who experience bullying go through. It starts with students who assume a leadership role among their peers and use that to bully others. Kids in this role often have many of their classmates following them. While a bully's followers don't usually engage in bullying themselves they do nothing to discourage it either. Supporters and others who do nothing to stop bullies are often referred to as passive bullies. These kids regularly draw attention the actions of a bully, but they do not participate in those actions. Passive supporters of bullies and their actions don't express their support for the bullies, but they secretly enjoy watching others get bullied. Kids who witness bullying but don't care about it are called disengaged onlookers. These kids either tell themselves to watch the bully at work or that it is none of their business what the bully is doing. Other kids witness the bullying and disapprove of it but they don't help the person being bullied even though they want to. Other kids will step up to defend a friend or classmate from a bully.

Kids who strictly watch others being bullied but don't step in often act this way out of fear. They feel powerless and guilty because they are not helping whoever is being bullied. While they may feel a temptation to participate in the bullying they usually won't give in to do so. Kids who are always the bully often find themselves engaged in fist fights, vandalizing property and items that do not belong to them and perceive school as a negative place to be.

While many bullies regularly have behavior problems not all of them do. Many of them have strong social skills and know how to fit in with both their peers and the adults around them. This is more often the case with female bullies than with male bullies.The problem with this is that most parents assume that a female student would never become a bully and they often don't believe it if their daughter is accused of bullying. This makes it easier for females to get away with bullying.

The Fate Of A Bullied Child
In May of 2010 an 11 year old in Oklahoma named Ty Field Smiley killed himself as a result of having been bullied by classmates. The day he killed himself he had been suspended from school for sticking up to a bullying who had been harassing him for the entire duration of the school year. When he was suspended his mother picked him up at school, drove him home and told him to do chores and homework while she went back to work. However, Ty had other plans that involved going into his parent's bedroom, getting their gun and shooting himself in the head. While the boy's parents reported that for the duration of that school year and the previous one their son was bullied at school the school's district offices denied this claim.

How School Students Are Affected By Bullying
When bullying is allowed to take place in schools the entire environment is affected and the students feel this effect the most. Students then become disrespectful and fearful of their school which can lead to behavior problems. It also makes it more difficult for students to learn and take full advantage of the education they are being offered. Students often start to become insecure and look for excuses to avoid going to school at all.They feel unsafe at school because they believe no one will do anything to stop the bullying. Many times those who have been bullied in elementary, middle or high school often choose not to go to college because they fear the bullying will simply continue while they are there. They may also continue to experience bullying in their personal and work lives throughout the course of their adult life.

The school environment puts perceived pressure on many teens to keep their mouths shut when they witness bullying, in order to maintain friendships with their classmates. Teenagers often feel isolated when they publicly stick up for a friend who has been bullied, so they tend to look the other way when it happens. At the other end of the spectrum is the kids who are being bullied. These kids often have a hard time making friends because their classmates perceive them negatively if they are frequently bullied by their peers.

Preventing School Bullying
In Michigan there are now 37 laws designed to prevent the act of bullying. Despite these laws, many schools have been forced to go to court when the parent of a bullied child decides to take legal action against the school. Some of these lawsuits have resulted in schools having to pay millions of dollars in damage.
Students can help prevent bullying in a number of different ways. Any student that is being bullied by a classmate needs to speak up about the bullying rather than ignore it. They are advised to tell their teachers as well as their parents. It is helpful if students who are being bullied are able to hide their fear, as showing fear makes them more vulnerable to attacks from their classmates and peers. Many bullies act out against other children because they find it easy to attack kids who are weaker than they are. Anyone being bullied that can give an outward appearance of confidence can often deflect the bullies on their own. Once they realize they are not getting any attention as a result of bullying an individual they will back off because there is nothing in it for them.

When students feel threatened by others they need to call immediate attention to the situation. Verbally alerting those around them to the bullying taking place can help divert it. Those who are bullied at any age are urged to speak out about their experience. This gives others around them the strength to tell their own stories of bullying, which spreads awareness of the problem and can sometimes even help prevent it from happening in the future.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ciaran_Connolly

Be A Better Parent, Have A Better Career!

Many professionals feel torn between their work and personal lives, which is why a few years ago I created a mantra that I can use 24/7: be generous and expert, trustworthy and clear, open-minded and adaptable, persistent and present.
I committed the sentence to memory, and ever since it has guided me to make better decisions, establish more effective priorities, and strengthen my most important relationships. Most importantly, it reduces the tension I used to feel between being a good parent and serving the needs of my clients.
Let’s break it down from the perspective of both your work and personal lives…

Be generous: Think of others before you think of yourself. Whenever you interact with another person, let the first three words in your mind be “help this person”.
At home, this means putting your five-year-old’s agenda as high or higher as your own, and resisting the impulse to think her interests are less important than your own. In your career, help others long before you even consider asking someone else for a favor.

Be expert: Be very good at something that other people value. This may be something you were born to do, or it may be a basic task that helps you establish your career and prove your value.
At home, by being an expert you model one of the most important lessons in life. Your kids will learn that they have a responsibility to contribute to the world; they can’t succeed with an “entitled” mindset. At work, expertise is the single best engine for your career.

Be trustworthy: Do the right thing, proactively, even when no one is looking.
At home, this line can get very fuzzy. Parents play fast and loose with the truth, and many constantly “promise” to play with their kids in five/ten/fifteen minutes, only to time and again ignore their promise. Big mistake, for this shows kids that a promise is meaningless.
At work, being trustworthy sets you apart from the too many companies and professionals who are unreliable. Trust should be common, but it is not.

Be clear: What do you want? What are your priorities? If you can’t answer these question, no one else can, either.
The greatest gift you can give another is to be crystal clear that they are one of your top priorities.

Be open-minded: If you want to bring out the talent in other people, you have to look past your own biases, otherwise you will only be helpful to people who are clones of yourself.
It is a big mistake to try and turn your children into your clones, although many parents have tried… I’ve watched more than a few parents push their kids to their alma mater, only to have the kids be miserable, flunk out, or both.

It is an equally big mistake to think that the only people of value at work are those who agree with you.

Be adaptable: When the future surprises you, it shouldn’t be that surprising. Change is not a threat, it is the natural order of the world.
Wake up every day knowing that it may not go anything like what you planned. Find joy in adapting to the way the world is, rather than how you hoped it would be.

Be persistent: If you want something badly enough, you need to work at it. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. You can’t be trustworthy and supportive for a week, then slide back into less admirable qualities.
By taking the long view, you can remain calm and focused even in the midst of “emergencies”. In some households – and workplaces – nearly everything is an emergency; in reality, very few events are emergencies. If you are persistent in the face of obstacles and detours, you will learn to take things in stride and keep moving towards the things that are most important to you.

Be present: Don’t let the past, or the future, destroy your relationships. When someone is talking to you, listen. When something happens, pay attention.
Acquire the skill to make another person feel as though what he or she is saying and doing is the only thing in the world that matters to you at this moment. It will enrich your life and strengthen your career.

By Bruce Kasanoff 
He is a ghostwriter for entrepreneurs and executives

How to Get Children Limit the TV Time

What do your kids do in their leisure time? Settle on the couch and switch on the TV. Right? TV has become an integral part of our existence. But try switching off the TV for a day and see the huge amount of time you have on your hands. "But what would the kids do then?" Here are some options for spending a TV free day.

Be a bookworm
Undoubtedly reading is the most fruitful pastime. Unfortunately kids are not encouraged any more to do that. Fiction, poetry, current affairs, and biographies - the list is endless. Pick out books of their liking and stock them for reading. They can go to libraries or swap them with their friends. Many book shops have cozy cafes built in for avid browsers. This can turn in to a family activity where you can suggest books to each other. Discuss the mutually read books to swap ideas. Nothing enlivens a dining table more than a heated discussion on the pros and cons of a book.
By reading books the kids gets an idea of far off places and their people. The mind gets broadened as they pick up other people's point of view and experiences. Not to say the enhancement of grammar power. You can always guide the youngsters towards broader horizons and new reading experiences.

The fine arts
If a child is lucky enough to be gifted with an artistic flair, it is time to pick it up. Often art techniques, learnt with such dedication, are discarded in the busy schedule. Pass on any skills you know to your children. Remember the fine brush strokes you had mastered; or the rhythm of the Hawaiian guitar that was so close to your heart; or perhaps the rise and fall of those notes of Carnatic music that flowed in your veins. If not, there are numerous DSC01393 classes to take lessons from. Painting, singing, dancing, playing musical instruments, dress designing - whatever tickles their fancy.

Puzzles and brain teasers
Studies say that brain cells tend to disintegrate if they are not used regularly. Just as a stiff exercise regimen is important for a healthy body, similarly the brain requires regular workout too. Pick up some puzzles and brain teasers and give your child's mental facilities a deep workout. Initially it may seem tough as so start with easier problems. As their brain learns to grapple with the problems, graduate to a higher level. You can try puzzles, anagrams, Sudoku, crosswords, word problems, numerical problems, jigsaw puzzles etc. Puzzles also help in building concentration and perseverance. Competing against each other will bring a healthy spirit of battle amongst the family. You can maintain scores and declare weekly winners.

Play time
Do you remember those card playing sessions reserved for summer holidays? What fun they were! The choices are immense as there are numerous card games to choose from - court-peace, bridge, sweep, rummy, bluff, memory etc. Not only it improves the memory but the kids also learn the strategic planning techniques in a much pleasanter way. Some games help in vocabulary enhancement. Now there are many other board games to choose from. Business to get the grip of financial management, Scotland Yard for sheer planning and memory, Pictionary for expression, What's the Good Word, Scrabble or Countdown for word power. The list is endless.

Giving back
Hindu philosophy says that we all are indebted for all things that we receive instantaneously when we are born. We have a debt to the inventors for the inventions, our parents for bringing us up and the farmers for the grain they produce. To show gratitude, we must give back to the society from which we have received so much. We see that this important lesson is missing from the children's curriculum. The easiest way to teach children to contribute is giving away your spare things for the more needy. There are many NGOs that collect usable clothes and shoes for victims of natural calamities etc. Make this a regular trip. One thing our society needs badly is a keep clean drive, be it the roads, the parks or the rivers. They can extend a helping hand and pay back the debt. By extending a helping hand the kids are also proving themselves to be a role model for others.

Communicate
In this fast paced world, we are fast losing contact with our family, friends and foes equally. And messages on Facebook do not count! Try channeling the kid's TV free time to restore these fragile bonds. Let them rediscover the musical sound of pen on paper. Encourage them to write long letters to people you care for. Invest in quality letter paper and pens of their choice.

Be a tourist
We have been living in the city for ages but the tourist hot spots are still unknown to us. There are umpteen monuments, gardens, temples and other religious places around the city where thousands of tourists hang around. Herd up the family in the car and drive down to the nearest fort. Soak up the history of the place, actually listen to the guide and pass on some facts and tales to the younger generation.

Culture vulture
In the fast paced era the other art forms are slowly losing out. What can match the aura of a theatre play, a dance performance or a music recital? It is one thing to see these things on the TV but experiencing it upfront can be real uplifting. Book tickets for one of these events and let the kids see culture come alive first hand. Take them to visit some of the art galleries and admire the nuances of brush and strokes.

Grow a green thumb
Nothing matches the pleasure of sowing plants and observing them grow. If you don't have a patch of land, get some pots. Let the kids plant their favorite flowers and herbs and enjoy them. An exciting idea is to have a pizza garden. Kids really love it! Grow all the things required to make a fabulous pizza like tomatoes, onions and herbs. When they are ready, make a fantastic pizza out of the home grown produce.

DIY projects
Nothing is greater fun than making something along with your family. Take up a project that involves the kids and see the exciting results. It could be making a cupboard, repainting a room, crafting a quilt, setting up furniture, rigging up a computer even. Be ambitious and creative and see the great times roll.

Be one with nature
In the hustle bustle of the concrete jungle we live in, we are losing touch with the beauties of nature. Take the kids on a long drive along a tree lined road and let them breathe in the fresh air. A hike in the woods would be equally invigorating. Admire a flower garden and smell the heady fragrance. Visit a flower show and see the umpteen species blooming there.

Are these ideas new? Of course not! That is what people did for entertainment BT. What's BT? Before Television.

Sia Mitra is a freelance writer and blogger with more than a decade of experience. She has written for most major publications like Femina, Prevention, Complete Well-being, Child, Mother & Baby, Parent & Child, Womens Era, etc. http://www.parentedge.in

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8622739

Are You Ready For Your First Teen Job?

Sometimes it seems like working teens have the best of both worlds. Somehow they manage to juggle work and a social life, and when they do get to that social part, they actually have money to pay for the things they want to do! You may feel like you would like to join the ranks of working teens so that you, too, can have some spending money to treat yourself and your friends, or even to save up for your future. How do you know if you're ready to make the commitment necessary to get your first teen job?

First, you should definitely consider the benefits of having a teen job. In addition to having some cash in your pocket to go to the movies, you will also be building a resume that will help you when you want to get higher-paying or more interesting jobs in the future. This same benefit applies when it comes to filling out college applications. Many colleges look very favorably on teens that have held down a job during their high school years.

The reasons that colleges like to see a job on your application are also some of the best benefits of being a working teen. For one thing, you really do learn a whole new sense of responsibility. You learn the importance of punctuality, for example. In addition, teen jobs really instill a sense of self confidence and independence in the young people who have them. Studies even show that teens who work about 10-15 hours a week tend to get higher grades.

There are drawbacks, however, and you need to seriously consider them, too, when deciding if a teen job is for you. The same studies listed above have shown that students working more than about 13-20 hours a week tend to get lower grades, so you would really need to be able to focus on both work and school to avoid that outcome. There is also the obvious effect on your social life. Even though you would have the money to do more things with your friends, your time to do those things would be much more limited. Not only that, but you might find that you just don't have as much energy for doing the fun things.

If you are interested in getting a teen job, then take the time necessary to weigh out the pros and cons. Of course you'd like to have more spending money or save up to buy a car, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. On the other hand, the responsibilities that come along with joining the work force are real, and you have to make sure that you can take them on willingly.

Author: Barry Mcgee URL: Jobs-For-Teens.org Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Barry_Mcgee

Teen Drug and Alcohol Abuse and Addiction, Signs and Treatments

The teenage years are among the toughest, so many changes and discoveries. Try to remember your teenage years while dealing with your teenager. Drugs and alcohol are a situation that all teens face and most will experiment. Wondering whether or not your teen is abusing drugs or alcohol can be stressful.

If you think your teen may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol but don't know how to deal with it, the first thing to do is make sure this is the problem your teen is facing. Some signs that your teen may be experimenting with drugs and alcohol include:

~Dramatic Mood Swings~
Teenagers all have normal mood swings. But look for more dramatic changes -- like happy and full of energy one minute and then withdrawal, sadness, or fits of rage.
No one knows your child like you do but during these times you can feel like you don't know them at all.

~Does your teen have new friends?~
Teens often hang out with teens that are into the same things they are. If your teen has suddenly ditched his/her old friend for newer maybe older one it is a good sign that they may be using.

~Acting out in school~
Has your teens grades dropped recently? Has their attitude towards school changed? Cutting class, fighting, and generally acting out are signs that they might be using.

~Attitude and health~
Is there a change in appetite, or sleep patterns? Is your teen being openly dishonest and defiant? Has alcohol come up missing in your home? How about the medicine cabinet? Have you smelled cigarettes or alcohol on his/her breath? Is your teen using a lot of breath mints lately? Have they changed how they dress or do their hair? Have you suspected that your teen might be drunk or on something? Any slurred speech, stumbling, Or bloodshot eyes?

~Family~
Has anyone close to you mentioned that they think your teen may be using? Even if it's only one person, it's enough to investigate further.Teens will try to hide their drug and alcohol abuse from you.

No parent want to see their kids in this situation. We all as parents want only the best for them. Being faced with a teen that is using drugs and alcohol, can seem very overwhelming. How do you handle this? Is there help? Many parents deal with this problem everyday. There is help!

Sometimes the solution varies, depending on your situation. Sometimes, just talking to your teen can help. Be understanding, and try to remember how tough this age is, but let them know that you will not tolerate this behavior. Let them know that you are here to help and that they can trust you to always be there for them. Tell them the consequences of abusing drugs and alcohol, even if they already know them, sometimes hearing you say it can make all the difference.

If simply talking to your teen doesn't work then maybe a teen intervention is in order. It is one thing to hear one person who loves you ask you to stop your behavior, but, quite another to have everyone who loves you ask.
There is a difference between a teen who is experimenting with drugs and alcohol and a teen who is addicted to them.
Teen drug addiction can be harder to deal with. Again, the situation varies. Some parents turn to a support center, places designed to help you deal with your out of control teen, drug abuse counseling is an alternative to look into. Sadly, with all they are going through it can be hard for teens to talk to their parents, they may feel more comfortable talking to a stranger. With counseling at least you can pick the stranger they talk to.

Some parents take a firmer stand and send their teen to a teen drug rehab. There are many rehab centers available. Do some research, find the top rehab program.
The important thing is to get your teen treatment, whether your teen needs alcohol treatment or teen drug treatment, it's your job as a parent to help them through this.

For more information: http://teenondrugs.blogspot.com
Do you suspect your teen may be using drugs or alcohol? There are signs you can look for and there is help available. http://teenondrugs.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lina_Lynn

Fashion & Teenagers

The Teenage Years represent the transition period into adulthood. Teens start to develop their independence and unique opinions about life's issues. The fashion trend has changed quite a bit from the days when Indians set up tents in the United States of America. When it comes to shopping, teens like to choose their own clothes and fashions at this time of their life. Sometimes teens and parents agree which clothes to purchase, sometimes they disagree.
Teenage years may be called "Acne Years". These years can turn into nightmares which many times continue into adulthood. Many products are available without bringing the desired results. We have the products that will eliminate these nightmares.
Helpful in developing identity
Some teen fashion statements are going to be crazy but they might be bearable. If you come upon something that actually covers them, make sure you give them a good eye roll. That might encourage them to wear that style. You might think it looks funny, but at least they are covered. That should be your main concern. You can lay down the law when you see teen fashion that seems to be too revealing, but you may be encouraging them in that direction.
Though teen fashion comes and goes and you can expect the main purpose of these fashions is to make sure they dress nothing like their parents. Teens have a strong need to set their own style, and figure out what their own identity is aside from their parents. That's a perfectly normal part of growing up, and if a parent does not roll their eyes just a little when the see teen fashions, those teens are going to be confused and they may try something else. That might be a good thing to keep in mind.
Teens have a greater selection of clothes than ever. From running pants and bottoms and outerwear, juniors styles, and jeans, teen clothing and active wear is a great way to live your youth.
Read about Girls Discussion Forum. read about Makeup Brushes and Punk Hair Styles
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr_John_Anne